BDSM for beginners – 5 rules you should know

To many, BDSM sounds like rough play, but it's actually about something completely different: consent, communication, and control . If you're curious about this form of pleasure, here are the most important basic rules for a safe start.

1. Consensus is sacred

Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens without clear consent. Consent must be voluntary, informed, and revocable at any time.

2. Talk before you play

Before the first attempt at bondage or the hot slap in the face, a conversation is needed:

• What appeals to you?
• What are taboos?
• Are there any health restrictions?

3. Get to know SSC & RACK

• SSC – Safe, Sane, Consensual

German: Safe, Reasonable, Consensual

This principle originates from the BDSM community of the 1980s and emphasizes three core values:

• Safe: All practices must be as physically and emotionally safe as possible. This means no life-threatening games, no uncontrolled risk.

• Sane (Reasonable): Participants act with a clear mind and a realistic assessment of what they are doing. Fantasies may be wild—but actions should be conscious and considered.

• Consensual: Everything is based on informed, voluntary consent – without pressure or manipulation.

SSC is the classic foundation , especially for beginners or anyone who wants to practice BDSM with a high focus on safety and control.

• RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink

English: Consensual, deliberately risky kink

RACK was born in response to the criticism that there can be no such thing as completely risk-free pleasure —especially with more challenging practices. Instead of "everything must be safe," the motto here is:

• Risk Aware: Everyone involved knows what physical or emotional risks exist – and consciously accepts them.

• Consensual: Consent remains central – but it includes the conscious consideration of risks.

• Kink: It's about sexual preferences that are outside the norm – e.g., bondage, spanking, breath play, or power games.

➡️ RACK is more realistic and complex—but requires more knowledge and responsibility. It is more commonly used by experienced BDSM practitioners who are well-versed in anatomy, psychology, and boundaries.

Both concepts say: BDSM is only pleasurable if it's respectful. Whether you prefer SSC or RACK depends on you, your knowledge, and your level of trust – but: Without consent, nothing works.

Even more important knowledge that you should not forget:

• A "yes" under pressure isn't a real yes. If someone goes along with it just to avoid disappointment, there's a lack of true consensus. Pay attention to emotional safety.
• Aftercare isn't a bonus. After an intense game, the body needs rest, warmth, closeness—or retreat. What helps depends on the individual. Talk about it.
• Boundaries are dynamic. What feels good today can be overwhelming tomorrow. Therefore, do regular check-ins.
• Know your limits – including your physical limits. Ropes or clamps can damage nerves and blood circulation. Those who play need to know where and how .
• BDSM doesn't protect against abuse. Some people use the term "kink" to cross boundaries. That's toxic—not sexy.

4. Aftercare is not a bonus, but a requirement

Whether it's a hug, water, or simply being left alone: after an intense experience, the body needs time to regulate itself – and closeness. What aftercare means varies from person to person, but it's always part of the experience.

5. Not everything that is sexy is safe

YouTube bondage videos without safety knowledge or cheap toys without material testing are not a good idea. Learn. Read. Ask. Your body will thank you.